Little Johnny replied: "That's how Mommy knows supper is ready!". 2 Do not argue with an idiot. A: So they know what weight class they should be in. Why was the firefighter wearing blue suspenders?Because the red ones were still in the wash! How quickly can a forest fire start?Lightning fast! Firefighting is serious business. How can one tell that there is a firefighter at a party? What should one do when a firefighter offers a person two ways to leave a house? I am like a firefighter Whats on every fire department menu?Five Alarm Chili. God gives them each some wings, with a warning that if they have even one bad thought, they'll lose their wings. *and the family? Required fields are marked *. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. A: Bob. Well, it turns out this esteemed profession is no exception, and here we are with our list dedicated to firefighter jokes! I got fired on my first day as a car salesman. A sad candy cane. I will give $50,000 to the engine company that brings them out safely!. Q: What kind of women do firefighters get? The Chiefs Have Arrived On Scene. A: Just in case the sauce on taco Tuesday was too fiery. Firefighters celebrate all holidays throughout the year except one.It is the occasion of May Day! 25. How do you know if a firefighter is at your party? Golfer: "I think I'll go drown myself in that lake.". Hey Pandas, Who Was Your Favorite Black History Month Icon You Learned About This BHM? As normal dont expect originality or hilarity. Pilgrims. Q. 5. A crowed watched as the firefighter frantically pumped on the boys chest. I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it. Its always good to find out youre going to be working from home. The fireman would always get into a bit of trouble because he was a hothead! And yours, Jimmy ?" Did you hear about the fireman who was hurt rescuing a cat from a tree?He went out on a limb. How do you get down from an aerial ladder? It was the sole survivor. What do you call a firefighter who smokes on the job? Poor little Jimmy then breaks into tears and wails "my father is dead !" Download Article. What do lawn ornaments do over winter break? Why would firefighters be great action movie stars?Because they have a lot of expertise in doing their own stunts! Theyre the only person there who actually understands the fire. "You'll just have to learn to be a little patient." If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring? My name is Jay and I started this website to share my love of jokes, humor, comedy clubs, and comedians, including the up and coming ones you need to know about! Because theyre naughty when nobody is looking at them. A: Only hose. 1. Let's keep in touch and we'll send more your way. Firefighter jokes, riddles and puns for kids and adults of all ages. Our funny one-liner jokes are short, sweet and make you laugh. << We have over 150 Categories of Pick Up Lines on our Main Page! 2. 143 Firefighter Jokes That Are Nothing But The Best Neilas urkus and Just Kairyt - Barkauskien If we had to choose the least funny profession, firefighters would be our top choice. Why was the man who worked in a hydrant plant always late at his work?Because one cannot park near the place! . Me: I don't know when to quit. My Dad used to say "always fight fire with fire", which is probably why he is no longer a firefighter. In a press conference between ice and fire, the fire family had a lot of burning questions for the other side. Why did the man hug the fire exit and said everything was ok? When are firefighters best at getting out of the fire station quickly? Here are some famous one liner jokes that can easily lift your spirits. Because unlike police officers, firefighters dont carry guns out on the job. Q: Why did the rookie fireman bring a credit card to his first day? If we had to choose the least funny profession, firefighters would be our top choice. Why would firefighters be great action movie stars? Q. When there is a trailer fire, what is the first thing to get off from the fire truck?A lawn chair! What comes after a dragon lights his birthday candles? We will not publish or share your email address in any way. Another thing that might seem amusing is their bravery - you know, most of us arent half as brave as these ladies and gents, and to the regular folk, their thrill-seeking might seem a bit comical. What was the movie Firestarter really about? Knock knock. After the great fire of London. Short Firefighter Jokes One liners, wit and puns, 90 Irresistible Knock Knock Jokes about Food. There are also campfire puns for kids 5 year olds boys and girls. Q: How did the contact the fire department about a fire? You dont want to know. My best job was being a musician, but eventually, I found I wasn't noteworthy. #1 for Parents and Teachers! As short as possible. "I hate those people who knock on your door and tell how you need to be "saved" or you'll "burn" Stupid firefighters". Looking for funny firefighter jokes? After an hour of intense fighting the volunteer company had extinguished the fire and saved the secret formulas. That's why firefighter humor is a tradition as old as fire . He was a real prose before hose kinda guy. I had to put my foot down. A: The fire department. In the distance the other firemen watched as the old timers hopped off of their rig and began to fight the fire with an effort that they had never seen before. They use the dogs, she said firmly, to find the fire hydrant., A fireman is at the station house working outside on the fire truck when he notices a little boy next door. Here are our favorite golf jokes to keep your round loose and fun. Their will to succeed. CTRL + SPACE for auto-complete. A fireman is a person who works to extinguish fires and prevent them from spreading. A panic-stricken man explained to his doctor, "You have to help me, I think I'm shrinking." "Now settle down," the doctor calmly told him. He won't expect it back. A man was trapped in a burning building and a firefighter yelled through the window, "You have two possible exit points, this ladder or the stairs." ", What did Pikachu say when he met the fire chief?He just said, "Pikachu!". Why do volunteer firefighters understand the importance of milliseconds?Because that is the amount of time it takes before they tell someone that they are a volunteer firefighter! Start writing! (charge a hose is the term for filling a hose with water). Who do you call if you see a museum thats just caught fire? When did firestations become a lot more common in the world? Sitting in the front seat of the fire truck was a Dalmation dog. Woman Shows How "Harry Potter" Characters Were Supposed To Look According To Book Descriptions (35 Pics), Bride Doesn't Include Wedding Dinner Price In Her Wedding Invites, Is Surprised To See Many Guests Canceling On Her After They Find Out, 30 Y.O. More 3 - Q: Did you know that the three wise men were firemen? Why do fireman take out the people from the building before they put the fire out with water? What did the father reply when the son asked him what the least favorite letter of a firefighter is? Why did the fireman bring a ladder to the restaurant?He heard that drink refills were on the house. Why do fireman take out the people from the building before they put the fire out with water?Because bros before hose. Take away one part of the fire tetrahedron, or the chief. 1 line dad jokes 1 line puns 1 liner joke of the day 1 liner jokes 1 liners 10 best one liners 100 best one liners 100 funny quotes and one liners 1000 short funny jokes 101 best one liners 1950s one liners 2 line funny jokes in english 2 line jokes 2019 . Once you are finished reading them, give the best jokes your vote and share this article with your friends! There are zero jokes about firefighters because they are all facts! Because then he wouldn't have anything to do in the afternoon. "He's just for good luck." If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of payments. 31. It was a local volunteer fire company composed entirely of men over 65. What did the fireman say at Thanksgiving dinner? But the firefighters were too late to reach and put it out. Wanna slide down my pole. What is the name of the machine that firemen used to detect any fire? They must be saved! In the world of magic, what could you also call a water bender? How do firefighters make sure they can slide down the pole easier in the event of an emergency? "One more time, I'm going to ask everyone to charge their glasses and - for those who still can - stand, raise a glass to the newlyweds."-Anonymous Theyre smoking. ~~~ Follow your dream Wisdom and advice. Go gnome for the holidays. 31. How do you put out a fire? I'm on fire - you wanna stop, drop and roll with me? Firefighters typically respond to emergency calls and use specialized equipment such . When the teach asked Johnny what his dad does Johnny said "Well my dad is a stripper in a gay bar, and if the guy looks good and the money is right he'll have sex with him out back in the alley." The firefighter was shocked when he got to know that one of his two sons had set fire to the building.He declared, "This boy is not arson anymore!". Caitlin Brink/USMC. Photo: Cpl. Let us know what you think! They keep going back the next day. Why couldn't police notify the family of the murdered baker? ": 40 Hilarious Before-And-After Pictures, As Shared By These Women With A Sense Of Humor (New Pics), AITA? Something like "seeing you leave really blows" but instead have it somehow relate to becoming a firefighter. You could get to say that she is my new flame! What is the main difference between a firefighter and a worker? Q: Do firefighters have to train to jump higher than a fire hydrant? The typical positions held in a local fire department include Volunteer firefighter, Probationary firefighter, Firefighter/EMT, Firefighter/Paramedic, Driver Engineer, Lieutenant, Captain, Battalion Chief, Assistant Chief, and Fire Chief. He was never allowed to become a firefighter. Q: Whats on every fire department menu? ", "I was telling a joke about a house that burned down to a firefighter the other day. These firefighter jokes are popular year round, but especially around Halloween as children like to dress up as a fireman or firewoman. Why do firefighters have a higher rate of cholesterol than other professionals? Why dont most firefighters smoke? 91. So, although we tend to view firefighters as real-life heroes (and rightfully so! Funny One-Liners 1. A: The fire MARSHALL. She said he was too spontaneous. The man chose the latter. How did the firefighter propose to his colleague from the fire department?He said, "You set my heart on fire! 84.36 % / 807 votes. Military personnel share amazing one-liners from drill instructors. So why are you so beat? his wife asked. Please check link and try again. Clean fireman jokes and firewoman jokes for parents teachers firefighters EMTs and more. What holiday do firefighters refuse to celebrate? I just followed the instruction asking me to dice the onions. Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. Because the fires they have to fight are wearing orange. A: A fire alarm. Why dont most firefighters like to put candles on their birthday cake like everyone else? Fisherman = Fisherfighter. (Racket is another way to say something is loud). Scroll down through these brilliants puns which can also be used as firefighter captions and firefighter one-liners. Whos there? From the distance a long siren was heard and another fire truck came into sight. One to change the bulb and 3 to chop a hole in the roof. "Stop dropping rolls.". Whether it's the swift one-liners of Tim Vine or Milton Jones, or a more traditionally structured joke, these quick-fire quips will have your friends rolling around on the floor. Q: What bugs fire fighters during the summer months? Members of the military bonded over their service and took time to reminisce about harsh words from their drill instructors in an entertaining Reddit Military thread. "Well, he was all like : ARGLALRGHALRLALGALHA !". These jokes are popular year round and especially around Halloween time! These guys were REAL fanatics about their golf. Whats every firefighters least favorite song? What did the man say when the fireman asked him how to reach his house on fire? JOIN OUR FAST-PACED COMPANY - We have no time to train you. He really isn't cut out to be a fireman!". A firefighter swam out and pulled the boy up onto the beach and began CPR. Fire Jokes Someone threw my 70s records on the fire. How are firemen and cops similar to each other?Both the groups aspire to be firefighters! This officer can be likened to a small puppy - he runs around excitedly, leaving little messes for other people to clean up. On my desk, I have a work station.. 23. 1. Because theyre a real bright spark when theyre younger. All the firefighters demanded better pay and working conditions.To quantify their demands, a pole was taken, and all of them fell down from the hole in the floor! What were the two sons of the Spanish firemen named?They were named Jos and HoseB! What sound do you hear when dragons sneeze?A fire alarm. 82.43 % / 3814 votes. What happens if a firefighter throws too many housewarming parties? What?!? By not starting a fire in your kitchen. lets start with some short and punchy jokes. As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases. Fun Kids Jokes was created by parents as a safe place for other parents and their children to find something funny to giggle at.